How can we have grief over a breakup? After all it’s not like someone died … right?
When someone loses a loved one to death most people go through 5 stages. These 5 stages were created by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and are called ‘The 5 Stages of Loss and Grief’.
When you go through a breakup, that too is an ending. It can be a major loss and the grief can be similar to that of losing someone to death. After all, isn’t it the death of the relationship? And doesn’t it sometimes mean you lose the person from your life, either as your partner or that possibly you won’t ever see them again?
DOES EVERYONE GO THROUGH THIS AFTER A BREAKUP?
I’ve seen people go through these stages regardless of how long or short a relationship it was, and how deep the love. The only difference those factors make is how long and how intense the 5 stages last. For lighter romances, I’ve gone through all the stages in a day! But I’ve also seen people take years to go through the healing process.
If someone doesn’t feel a sense of loss after a breakup, then they probably won’t go through the grief. Some people only feel relief after a breakup. This was either due to a) they never really wanted to be with this person or b) they went through the stages as the relationship deteriorated and ‘got over it while still in it.’ We’ll save that for another blog post!
I’m all about Big Love and Soulmates finding each other. If you’re open and recovered from the trauma of the past, it’s more likely to happen. Yet so many people are still stuck in the grieving stages about an old relationship. They keep going around them in a loop.
And do you know what that does?
It keeps you trapped.
It keeps you in pain instead of processing the trauma.
It blocks new love.
So I’m writing this series of posts about the 5 stages of breakup grief to help you if you are in the middle of a breakup OR if an old relationship is still on your mind waaaaay too much.
Understanding what is happening at each stage will help you process your emotions and move through the pain and grief in a healthy way.
I’ll include some tips on how to process each one with as much grace and ease as possible …
So you can get to the final step – Acceptance – and finally move on to a new love story!
So what are the 5 Stages?
The 5 Stages of Breakup Grief are:
1. Denial (it’s not really happening!)
2. Anger (how DARE they!)
3. Bargaining/negotiation (if we can stay together, I promise I’ll be good)
4. Depression (this just sucks)
5. Acceptance (what happened, happened. I’m moving on)
Tomorrow we start with the usual suspect – Denial!