Today’s Question is Answered by Christina
I’ve been dating a man for about 6 weeks. We both lead busy lives so we’ve only seen each other a few times. He’s amazing, smart and successful and the chemistry is out of this world. I like him very much and I want to be in an exclusive relationship with him. Should I bring it up when we next meet? Does he want to be in a relationship with me? I’m feeling really anxious and afraid that maybe he doesn’t. He only texts me every 2 or 3 days and I just want to know what he wants. Thanks for any advice
You are on the same trajectory that so many people take, in a new relationship. You like a guy, he seems to like you and all of a sudden you can’t stand the uncertainty. You get anxious and fearful and feel if you could just GET CLEAR on where YOU TWO STAND – you’d be OK.
So you let fear take over and it stops being so much fun and finally you crack. You ask him the question. ‘Where do you see us going?’ And he retreats because all of a sudden he isn’t sure. Because things haven’t been the same lately. Your anxiety has shown and it hasn’t been as easy and relaxed as it was at the beginning. So he doesn’t answer the way you want and you go into that awful place where he is calling all the shots and believe me he likes it about as much as you do.
Stop this thinking, Healthy relationships take time Gloria. Yes, sometimes they take off very quickly and two people ‘know’ within a couple of weeks. But even those swift ones need to take the time to build something stable.
It’s early days. Don’t forget to enjoy the romance and the getting to know each other part. Get down with these fears, figure them out and crush ’em! Don’t let them ruin your love life. Life’s too precious to waste being frightened about something that may or many not happen.
I suggest you do a wee bit of research into codependency and attachment styles, especially anxious attachment. I’m not saying that these things apply to you, only that there is something valuable in learning more about them.
I’ve done a wee spread for you as well and I see that everything will be proceeding smoothly if you keep your cool. He is interested in you and is interested in the long term, and the 3 of Cups shows you will probably be going to a fancy do together.
There is a warning with the card of self-sabotage so you have to mind your thoughts and actions carefully. Also he appears to be an Earth sign and takes things quite slowly. I feel he has a lot of affection for you already but is not letting it take over. He wants to get to know you and also wants you to get to know him so you’re both sure. The potential for a very long and happy relationship is here if you don’t get in your own way. The same goes for him.
Relax and enjoy the journey!
With Love and Magical Kisses,